A Voice for Good// Thoughts from the Public Leadership Weekend

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What do you get when you walk into a room and mingle with a former barrister, a councillor, a children’s entertainer, two Christian radio DJs, a provider of GP training, a nutritional therapist and an eclectic member of the General Synod?

Well – apart from the opportunity for endless, enlightening conversation – you discover that these are only half the fascinating men and women of different ages and diverse backgrounds who’ve also signed up to attend a Public Leadership media training weekend. If you’re a more ordinary mortal like me, who dabbles in education or writing while juggling life as a parent, or someone who might hesitate to consider such an event – even though you can’t resist the calling – then you need to think again.

After first reading about the weekend, I was hooked. The central theme of being ‘a voice for good’ has resonated with me ever since I had my first article published in a local New Jersey paper back in 2000, through to the time when I began a blog or when I delved into PSHE teaching (an unusual option for a Christian) several years ago. And yet, I felt inadequate. I’m not at the top of my field(s) like many who would be going to the event. I’ve purposefully avoided some opportunities to lead as it conflicts with family life and have often taken on voluntary roles in the last several years alongside part-time work. So, what right did I have to even apply? I don’t know, but I finally shut out that fear and went ahead with the application. Still, I had my doubts and considered pulling out.

I’m so glad I didn’t. My mind remains in overdrive after taking in all that was covered at the conference – which managed to successfully incorporate high quality talks, devotions, discussion, group activities and role play into a worthwhile, challenging weekend. And still allow time for eating and drinking! (And a few dips in the pool for some.)

The content covered current political, theological and practical issues pertaining to the development of Christian voices in the media, with much opportunity to think, reflect and share a timely and vital conversation. And yes, the name of Trump did crop up in that context! All the speakers, who included a communications director and a former Radio 4 journalist, were incredibly engaging and motivating. The potential for influence through engagement in public life was highlighted in different ways as each contributor shared their knowledge and experiences, including pitfalls and lessons learned along the way.  I would have readily listened to every single one for twice the length of time that they were allotted. No mediocre talks here whatsoever!

A standout feature for me at this event was definitely the interactive nature of the programme. We weren’t just talked at but were continually encouraged to take part, to contribute our experiences and to ask questions of ourselves and others. For instance, one group task involved examining the day’s newspapers and discussing the content, and to look for any positives (a distinct lack of which was found) as well as the story perhaps not being reported.

I also learned so much from the other attendees, each of whom brought a unique dynamic and perspective to the sessions. The focus throughout seemed positive and boundary breaking – in the sense that we seemed to be caught up in something momentous. There were several injections of humour, too, along with chances to chat over meals that fostered unity and common vision, despite our disparate interests and occupations. The spiritual dimension was intentionally at the core of this weekend, drawing our minds repeatedly back to biblical concepts and examples of godly leadership throughout Scripture.

We discovered practical ways to play a part through learning to communicate better and how to engage well with the media. The language we use, for example, is a crucial part of whether the things we say will be well received. Neill Harvey-Smith talked (via video link) about how Jesus had extraordinary insight into people’s lives. “We need to become people who are brilliant at insight…experts at what motivates and interests people,” he said. How can we “reach into the culture in which we live?”

The weekend has given me the kick I needed to take that next step and be ready to speak up, and I’m sure that I’ll be better equipped as a result of the training. The role play session was particularly challenging and enlightening and I’m so glad I had the chance to take part in such an activity (with a professional radio interviewer). I discovered the importance of injecting personal story and avoiding focussing on the negative. Christopher Landau advised us to “be alive to the context, the audience you’re trying to reach.”

My main thoughts by the end of the weekend encompassed the sheer wonder at all the potential in one place, and the names and faces of people I know who would equally benefit from attending a future event. Dr Dave Landrum’s final encouragements included “Taking responsibility for where God has called you” and “leading change intentionally”, while emphasising the need to be resilient and to take a long view into the future.

I may be biased, but as far as weekends or Christian conferences go, the Public Leadership weekend is a cut above the rest. Look into it here.

 

10 Top Tips to Boost Mental Health in Children & Teens

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There’s been much in the news lately about mental health services in the UK that are overstretched and unable to support all children and young people promptly due to under-funding and under-staffing. While the state of children’s mental health is reaching crisis point in some regions, and increased pressure from school and social media is blamed for this development, parents are desperate to know how they can help their child or teen who may be struggling. Depression and anxiety are on the rise in under 18s.

This post is not meant to provide medical support or guidance, and I strongly advise that young people are seen by a GP and referred for specialist support if they are in crisis. This list is more of a recommendation for parents and carers whose child is currently coping well at this time or may be starting to show signs of poor mental health. These are things that I try to practice with my own children and that I discuss with them as part of their overall health and well-being.

The best things I believe you can do to foster good mental health in children and teens (in no particular order):

  1. A balanced, varied and mostly healthy diet – to include good fats such as fish and nuts. Avoid low fat everything, growing bodies benefit from consuming butter and full fat yoghurt or milk. And of course greens. If you have a fussy eater, just keep buying the one green vegetable that they will eat, e.g. my sons always liked broccoli but would never touch cabbage or courgettes. I’m sick to death of broccoli in meals, but can be assured that my kids are ingesting enough folic acid! However, do not obsess over food (which may also lead to anxiety in some individuals). Occasional junk food never harmed anyone, just try to keep things balanced.
  1. Sufficient sleep. That means enforcing some bedtimes, especially during the week. All those times I’ve ever felt really low always coincided with seasons of interrupted or lack of sleep. A child or young person that is not getting enough sleep regularly will find that it affects their concentration, their mood and their ability to handle tough situations or disappointment. Read more about that here.
  1. Helping them find their niche/thing that they love – whether that’s animals, skate-boarding, singing, acting, gardening, writing, volunteering, whatever…encourage them in that. (It’ll mean trying out lots of stuff but many activities are free, so keep on the lookout for information around your community, at the library etc.) Offer to help your child with their hobbies and pursuits and show an interest in what they love (even if model aeroplanes or horses are totally not your thing). Engaging in meaningful activities will help improve mood and is promoted by occupational therapists. More on that here.
  1. Socialisation. Encourage them out the house to meet other people, engage, do stuff. Get them involved in any neighbourhood or local events/ festivals/ special events in town. Keep them coming to family get-togethers and celebrations even if they’re bored at the thought of visiting their auntie or second cousin. Ask them to join you with an activity or help at an event. Getting out and having face to face interaction is a crucial part of optimum mental health. Find out more here.
  1. a) Limited screen time – especially for under 12s. Too much screen time makes for grumpy kids who lose passion for anything else in life. Tip: no gadgets in bedrooms overnight. Set Wifi limits, so it switches off at a pre-determined time on their devices (Don’t worry, it won’t affect YOUR Wifi access!) This will help immensely with no 2. Once the Wifi’s gone, most have no further use for their device. Also, encourage them to use the internet more to help them with no 3, or to learn skills and be creative (you can learn to do anything on YouTube) rather than just consuming media all the time. Warn them of the pitfalls of social media and wanting to be liked. Keep under 12s far away from social media, they are too young to handle it.
    b) Also keep porn away from your children by installing everything you can get your hands on. (Link to help with that) Porn is depressing and negatively impacts motivation. Read here and here. Teenagers will inevitably come across it, but at least you’ve done your best to protect them as children.
  1. Listen to your kids/teens. Spend some time with them on their own every day, even if it’s just a few mins. A good question to ask them: What was the best thing and the worst thing that happened today? Be supportive, no matter how trivial what they share seems. Above all, enjoy every positive interaction with your child. The negative interactions may be unavoidable, and sometimes the positive moments appear randomly, or you have to schedule them in. Either way, let your child or teen see that you just really like them, even if they’ve been annoying just half an hour earlier. (They know that you love them).
  1. Outdoor exercise and sunshine. Make opportunity for this as often as you can. Encourage teens to sit outside when it’s sunny to do revision. As a parent or carer, model this yourself; don’t lounge about on the sofa during all your free moments. Many young people look pale and may be lacking vitamin D due to spending most of their time indoors. And guess what? Low vitamin D levels are also linked to depression. (Read here.) Just bear in mind that vitamin D is a FAT soluble vitamin – hence the need for consuming some full fat products, otherwise it’s not fully absorbed by the body. (Refer to No 1).
  1. Positive, uplifting movies to watch together. Now and again find a film that promotes strength of character and of the human spirit, something that encourages empathy – e.g. The Hundred Foot Journey, August Rush or The Lucky One. Or check out some from this list. Even if it’s not their type of thing, coax them with popcorn or say you’ll watch their choice of movie next time. And teens are never too old for the occasional feel-good, family flick. The same goes for uplifting songs and music.
  1. Homework stress busters. Offer to help with ideas for how to complete homework more quickly, e.g. good websites to look at, how to plan an essay, suggestions for revision. I recommend a short burst of exercise (e.g. Pogo stick or trampoline) prior to homework, to send oxygen to the brain and boost serotonin levels right before getting stuck into something they might hate. Yep, that ties in with number 7 nicely. Also, do NOT encourage perfectionism with homework. A good job is good enough. Education is important but homework is only a small part of that. Discourage teens from spending all evening doing homework; make time for some downtime.
  1. Read books. When they’re younger, read to them, then read with them. When they’re teens, encourage them to read at least one book in each of the school holidays. Hand them something you’ve read that you’d recommend. When you’re on holiday, maybe have book nights where you read a chapter of something together out on the deck or balcony or outside your tent. Reading is pure escapism from the day to day drudgery or stresses of modern life and has been shown to make you happier.

All the above may not be able to prevent depression or mental disorders in a person who is predisposed to them, but these suggestions can certainly help to bolster a healthy mind.